ye I get that. it's hard to tell u aren't doing too well to anyone. parents, siblings, friends... anyone really. but u gotta realize it's for the better and if that's how u feel, that they might think it's their fault, u can always tell them it's not and be sincere with them. just tell them "I'm going through an hard time atm, but it has nth to do with u guys. it's just stress built from the outside, situations I had nothing to do with family, but I'm kinda needing some help"yeah i hate that side of them sometimes, they are really good friends, we know each other since childhood but they lack a lot in mental health education. I also think that sometimes it's also my fault when they trivalize my feelings because i try to be a bright and funny person so when i feel hurt i use a lot of sarcasm and that may confuse ppl whether i'm talking seriously or i just don't care at all about what's going on around me so i kinda understand them. i'd like to go to a specialist but i don't see myself telling my parents since my older brother also has depression and i don't want them to think that they are bad parents or anything else, i don't think that as a parent they'd like to know that both of their child are fucked up and i also hate to be a burden to people. In my uni there are a group os free psychologists for the students and i'm waiting to get an appoinment but it seems impossible because they have a lot of patients atm. I'm really trying to work on myself everyday, I write sometimes my thoughts and feelings to try to understand why i'm feeling like that and even tho some days it's so hard even getting out of bed i live with two of my friends and they help me a lot distracting myself
Imma talk from experience now. I also didn't want help really, but after years and years of getting worse I had to tell my mom eventually and she was super supportive cause my sister also dealt with depression due to stress. my sister was just more close to her and I didn't even know anything about. so maybe that fear u got will even turn into a better understanding and a stronger support on ur situation
it doesn't mean it might be bad and like I said if u think they'll take the blame for it u can be truthful and make them feel more relaxed about it